My German flat mate is proving to be my nemesis… for some reason I just cannot articulate properly when he’s around. I come out with all sorts of weird Swissgerman / German phrases!
Imagine this: the whole flat was invited for dinner by a neighbor. As both Miri & I were wearing skirts, I wanted to ask Stefan to bring along the key to the flat. So I called out to him: “Hey Stefan, da du als Einziger einen Sack hast, würdest du bitte den Schlüssel mitnehmen?”. With which I wanted to say: as you’re the only one with a pocket, could you please bring the keys”. But he just stared at me and burst out laughing. So I was like “what on earth are you laughing about?!” Then it dawned on me: the use of the word “Sack” is ambiguous: it can also mean “balls”. So here I was telling him that as he was the only one with balls, he should bring along the keys! Oops!
Doubtful as it may seem, I am actually perfectly capable of speaking proper high-German occasionally!
Yet another thing he found funny was when Miri moved out and I was helping her sort out her stuff. I was standing in front of an almost empty shelf in the kitchen half-trying to determine what belonged to me. Actually I was thinking of something completely different and I believe I was screwing up my face in thought. Anyway, Stefan was observing me as I believe he found it mildly fascinating as to why someone would stare at 3 items or so for over 4 minutes without moving. So having finished contemplating life (or so) my eyes lit upon my Grandmanier liquor. So I go “oh, my alcohol!” And he just falls apart. He’s like: fistly it took you that long?! and secondly of course the alcohol belongs to!
WHAT?! I wonder if my "wine phase" when he first moved in misled him slightly.