A new life!!!!

I have finished school!!!

These past four years have just flown by, chockablock with so many memories, experiences, laughter, tears, stress, fear, happiness, ... But now, suddenly everything is over. Well, technically I have not really finished school yet, I still have my thesis to write, but I am free, released from Colmar! Released from the mental chains that bound and stifled me for the past 3 months!

I could hardly contain myself yesterday after the final exam - this huge bout of adrenalin just rushed through my veins when I handed in my paper. I was so psyched that I practically skipped out of the room.

So now we have time to plunge head on into L'Oréal. Which is proving to be a real headache: the advertising company is really taking its time. It was quite rich as to how they took the liberty to decided for us which product they were going to display (we had no say whatsoever and we're supposed to be the client!) and we have had no further news from them for the past 3 weeks. I would even go so far as to suspect that the switchboard person has been instructed not to put us through. The final presenation is in two weeks time so time is running out.

Save our environment!

Wonder what they'll think of next!

Eco-friendly firm making paper out of kangaroo poop
Associated Press
Feb. 15, 2005 09:05 AM
CANBERRA, Australia - An environmentally friendly paper manufacturer has stumbled upon an unlikely way to put an unwanted natural resource to good use.
The company has created its first batch of paper from marsupial manure.
Land owners around the Tasmania state town of Burnie helped scrape together 55 pounds of kangaroo and wallaby dung for the local business, Creative Paper Tasmania, to make the unique paper pulp, manager Joanne Gair said Tuesday.

"It's a great product for tourists but it's also something that gets our eco-friendly message home to a lot of people," said Gair, whose paper products contain no wood.

The sand-colored sheets will be embossed with the words "Genuine Kangaroo Poo," she said. Roughly 400 sheets can be made from 55 pounds of the fibrous droppings.

"We've got enough to make our first batch but if we're going to get into serious production, we're going to need a bit of assistance," she said.

Bon appétit!

You might want to think twice before you crack open that new bottle of Tomato Ketchup...

WOMAN FINDS PENIS IN TOMATO SAUCE BOTTLE

(Sweden, AFP) - A Swedish woman reportedly found a penis in a bottle of ketchup. Viktoria Ed said she was lucky enough to discover the organ before putting the sauce on her bread rolls, unlike her husband Stefan and their children. "It looked like a penis, of an adult if it's human, and medium-sized," she said. "It's disgusting. The top of the bottle was intact, as if it had just left the factory. We would like to know how this thing ended up in a ketchup bottle." The Godegaarden brand ketchup was made in Turkey and distributed in Sweden by the company Axfood. The shop where the ketchup was bought has thrown out the rest of its stock. "I will never buy this brand again, it's finished," vowed Ed. Police have taken the object for analysis.

Sex scandal rocks Wonka factory

The remake of the film "Willy Wonka" (to be shown as "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory")promises to be quite enlightening...

Shocking Details Reveal How Diminutive Orange Laborers Put the "Imp" In "Impropriety"

Authorities have stunned the world with lurid reports of a sweeping investigation into a sex scandal involving employees of renowned candy manufacturer Willy Wonka.

An 18-month investigation has resulted in numerous arrests, including the indictments of dozens of Oompa Loompas, the diminutive workers at the factory made famous in a well-known documentary film entitled, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

A symbol of marriage 

Brief update

So much has happened:
Broke up with my lying rat of a boyfriend in December, however rethought that after I noticed that his absence seriously disrupts my peace of mind (a serious drawback as was sitting initial exams). Yet all may turn out for the best, for he saw the err of his ways and eliminated a certain disturbance in his life, so I decided give him another chance. Retaining a certain amount of scepticism and keeping both eyes open, I just take each day as it comes. ; -) But at least I can study! Speaking of which, I believe this escapism of mine has led me to rediscover my blog…

Fanfare please

ARRRRGGGGGHHHH!
Just another 3 months and then I am free!
My final semester begins next week, only another 3 months of pure hell ahead and then I’ll be thrown out into the cutthroat world of employment, money, debt and bills. Ah, heaven.

As if I didn’t have enough to do, I rallied two dynamic friends of mine and together we applied to L’Oréal for their Brandstorm competition. To be honest, the preparation for the interview was the best bit: L’s friend is a hairdresser whom we enticed to go wild with our tresses. Being quite a mad woman she took us at our word and three hours later saw us heading off for the interview with an updo, spiky hair and a mass of curls! Pair that with flamboyant makeup (loads of gold glitter and pink eye shadow) and you had a recipe for success. Needless to say, they hired us on the spot!
Now we have until May to come up with a fantastic idea for their Studioline brand – they want us to revamp the whole line and introduce a new product. We are competing against 7 other teams for the national final; the winner gets to go to Paris.

Unfortunately this overlaps with our final exams, but hey, such a minor detail won’t stop us. Neither will the fact that we are studying in France and that our access to the internet is extremely restricted. Give us a challenge and we’ll rise to the occasion!

Uni, Magebrot, Rahmtääfeli and 1000 Euros

Home. Ah, it is nice to be back in familiar surroundings. It would have been perfect if the sun was actually shining and the temperature 10°C higher, but otherwise it is nice to be home again.
After being thoroughly checked through by doctors – Swiss one’s this time – I am now officially on the road to recovery. Yippee!
Uni has started again and my days are filled with lecturers spouting their wisdom and eager minds clicking away.

The autumn fair is upon us, so town is filled with the sweet smell of “Magebrot” and “Rahmtääfeli” (the latter is a caramel sweet only the Swiss know how to make and the former a kind of bread coated in a black sugar / honey icing – absolutely delicious). All sorts of adventurous rides, designed to make the anxious parent fear for the life of their offspring, have sprouted out of the ground. Shouts and laughter as well as the occasional shoe or vomit being hurtled through the air are all apparent throughout Basel’s favourite autumn pleasure.

Last week I had a rather interesting experience:
On Wednesday morning I was chatting away with colleagues at break time, when suddenly a loud voice nearly inducing a heart attack booms out behind me:
“Congratulations Ms Ross!”
I turn around and find our Swiss headmaster beaming away at me.
“Well, thank you Sir, but for what exactly?” I replied somewhat confused.
“You mean you don’t know?” he asks incredulously, his smile vanishing from his face. “But I sent them your name and address, as well as your telephone number!”
“I assure you, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is this some kind of joke” I inquire suspiciously.
By then practically my whole class had gathered round to witness this spectacle. They egged him on in turn, trying to get some coherent sense out of him.
“Well, I entered some internship reports written by students who had interned abroad in a trinational prize draw and you have won second prize!” he finally articulates.
“Oh!” is all I manage. But that’s not all: “there’s prize money of 1000 Euros for the second place,” he continues. “And the award ceremony is tomorrow at the Council of Europe in Strasbourg (F).”
That was my highlight of the week.

At the award ceremony I was receiving my prize graciously, smiling for the camera etc., when suddenly I hear a stage whisper behind me: my Swiss headmaster was enticing the speaker to let me say a few words of thanks. My blood ran cold. I had not prepared anything! After a brief moment of panic (camouflaged by an idiotic grin) I stammered out some “Thank you’s” to all and sundry, then shot back to my seat as fast as my legs would carry me. Unfortunately my new shoes were rivalling for the position of “shoes made in hell” but I managed to get back to my seat without further mishap.
The apéro was nice, an elaborate mix of cheese, salmon, mini-sausages, wine and orange juice. Very yummy.

Back again

Have you heard the saying: “you always meet a person twice”? Well, it certainly held true for me: I am currently back in hospital, back in the same ward with the same nurses and doctors. (Ok, no surprise about the doctors there!)
After overdoing it slightly – I went back to work for two days – my body decided to take matters into its own hands and I developed a fever. To rule out infection, I was readmitted and put back on antibiotics. As they weren’t quite sure what was wrong with me, they decided to do a colonoscopy. This procedure includes sticking a 1cm wide (and I do not want to know the length!) flexible rubber tube with an attached camera up one’s behind, enabling them to have a good look at the inside of the intestines. Thank goodness they knocked me out first!
Luckily everything seems to be alright, so I’m getting out of hospital today.
For the rest of my stay here in Malaysia, I am under strict orders to lie down as much as possible, which basically means being cooped up in my room. Well, could have been worse; they might have actually found something!

Recovery

Well, I'm on the road to recovery at last, having been released from hospital last Tuesday. Haven't been able to do much so my life now consists of lounging around in the Executive Suite of the Swiss Garden Hotel (what irony, they even serve authentic swiss potato salad!). At least if I'm completely bored, I'm bored in the lap of luxury!

Seriously though, the rooms here are so cheap, we're paying something like CHF120 per night for the Executive Suite in a four-star hotel!

The parents arrived in full force on Saturday, to make sure their darling daughter has been brought back from the brink of death (har, har) and have subsequently shattered the peace and quiet of my own method of convalescence: retail therapy! On the brink of boredom-induced madness, I'd just managed to convince my brother that shopping is actually beneficial to my healing process. So I spent a few days happily cruising around the malls, when in come the parents and freak to see me popping my daily painkiller (which incidentally happens to be quite similar to Viroxx, a drug just taken off the market as it can cause cardiac arrest).

Apart from shopping I had managed to convince my bro that a drink at a bar would not be too much either, so on the second day of my release (ok, I'm the first to admit I get bored really quickly, but so would you after reading eight books and watching hours of TV, cooped up for seven days in a small boxlike room) we went out. The bar was hopping, the decor was stunning – a Balinese theme, all dark stone & dark wood, water running underfoot with goldfish swimming in pools, cushions everywhere, and huge golden Buddha statues scattered around the place. Really nice.

Minus my appendics

Well, thank goodness that’s over and done with. How something about 5cm (2inches) long can cause such acute suffering is beyond me! But once the little fiend was out, he’s now out for good. At least that’s one headache less. Now all that’s left is a pain in my side and waves of nausea. But they’ll pass too.
I’ve just discovered that one side of the hospital gives a great view of the Petronas Towers and city centre (view from my window) and the other side looks out into the deepest jungle! Talk about contrasts.
I actually really do not want to leave Malaysia, especially not KL. Somehow this city has woven her web of magic tightly around me. Just thinking about going back to cold, cold Switzerland in October gives me the shivers.

I'm in hospital

Well, aren’t I having a grand old time in KL. Wednesday, I was admitted to hospital with acute pain in my lower abdomen. Since then I have been put through various tests, some more uncomfortable than others, the most memorable of which (til now anyway) was definitely the CT scan. The pain when they injected the dye coupled with having to hold my breath whilst being scanned was a sensation I never want to experience again. That, and of course this horrific abdomen pain which has lodged itself firmly in my gut. Thankfully antibiotics do provide some relief until they know the definite cause of my discomfort. They’ve just ruled out acute appendicitis as well as urinary tract / kidney infection so I’m happy. (Thursday 23rd September)
*News flash* in 45 min I’m undergoing surgery to remove my appendics after all. That’s the latest after waking up to a horrific pain this morning.
At least having Wireless Lan in hospital distracts me from the pain a bit and keeps me from getting bored!

Pulau Tioman

Well, the 2 M’s, K and I finally managed to lug our bodies out of KL this weekend, despite a minor hitch in the proceedings. Originally K & I had planned to take Fri & Mon off and go off with the boys to Pulau Tioman, for 4 days of rest and relaxation. But, on Tuesday our boss suddenly informed us that he’d taken up an unexpected offer to go to China the next day (!), so now he needs someone in the office on Fri and Mon! After some doubts as to our destination for the weekend, we decided to continue with our original plan, with K following us a day later and me going home one day earlier.

Anyway, the 3 of us boarded a bus on Thursday evening after nearly collapsing from carbon monoxide poisoning – they make the passengers wait down in the garage for the bus and although there are some environmentalists out there, most locals remain unconvinced by their campaigns and fimly believe that if you turn off the motor you risk that the engine will die on the spot! Well, judging from the state of the busses, I would tend to agree with them.

So, we started our 5 hour trip down to Mersing (East Coast) and after 5 minutes we started to get out towells, clothes, anything to protect us from the actic cold gushing out of the aircon above us. Shivering we arrived at 5.30 am, were welcomed by a tout who sold us our tickets and recommended a beach on Tioman in about 5 minutes. Desperately trying to stay awake and not caring where we would land, we made our way to the newly opened food stall and braved the local delicacies of fried rice and hot noodle soup at 6 am. Yummy.

3 hours later we were proud holders of two aircon chalets (complete luxury) and 7 hours later I had laughed myself silly over the first “shopaholic” book (something along the lines of Bridget Jones Diary), had snorkelled around our fantastic beach (Tioman is known for its diving and snorkelling) and was burt to a crisp as I had forgotten to put sunscreen!!! My whole body could rival a lobster, that’s how bad it is. Especially my legs, sitting is almost agony!

Well, as the day drew to the end we come to a part of island-life I I love: dinner! Usually the fishermen bring in their booty and you wander from beachside “restaurant” (shack is more like it) to the next, deciding which fish you’d like. We chose a huge parrot fish on the first night and then a jet fish on the second. Nothing beats eating fresh fish grilled in banana leaves, watching the sun set on clear blue sea and knowing that a pullover would cost more then that experience!

We befriended a Singaporean Malay group, who were real drinkers! (Most Malays are Muslim and alcohol is forbidden) Everybody got together in the evening, a guitar was produced, as was ample alcohol, and then the singing and merry making began. They really do like singing / karaoke here. Doesn’t mean they’ve all got good voices though (on that night alcohol mainly improved the confidence of those without an ear for music).

On Sunday I took the first ferry back to Mersing. The ferry stops at every beach to pick up passengers on their way back to the mainland, so we gaily turned the corner to the next beach and I was just thinking “hmm, I’m actually really enjoying myself”, when my eyes lit upon grey / black spots and to my horror I counted 18 huge (and I really do mean huge) army ships slowly gliding into the bay! Whilst the new passengers boarded, more and more ships appeared on the horizon and as we left for the next beach I counted 22 ships. 2 of them actually had a flat helicopter landing area! It was like a scene out of a war movie.

Army seemed to be the order of the day, because as I rode back to KL my neighbour turned out to be a military officer, in charge of making bombs! Well, I guess it’s a job too!

2 Ms in KL

Well, M&M, my 2 visitors sure have discovered the delights of KL! Barely here they’ve already hit the shopping malls and are going strong! To understand my shock you must know that these two normally flee if one even dares to mention the word shopping, so it’s all the more surprising that they’ve mutated into hardcore shopaholics! Supposedly out for a nightcap they return with shopping bags full of t-shirts, leave them to amuse themselves for an hour and they turn up with 4 pairs of shoes and 38 (!) DVDs between them.

Another week

On Perhentian Islands, we spent 1 night luxuriously reclining in a beachside chalet at Flora Beach Resort on Besar, the big Island.
We’d booked our flight with Airasia and true to their no frills policy you really do get what you pay for! The landing on arrival in Kota Bharu was memorable; it nearly broke my back so hard did we touch down on the runway!
The flight back was a bit better, although the plane was delayed for over an hour, a bit rich for a flight that only takes 55 minutes.

Back in KL I sped of to another audit on Monday. Barely able to keep my eyes open I had the privilege of observing how shoes are made (very interesting, but so hot in that factory! AND we have to wear business clothes too!) .
This past week saw me climbing up ladders in my finery to count stock, so whoever said auditing is boring (could actually have been me!) should really rethink their attitude. After having to edge along a 20cm wide gap, 4 shelves and 5 meters high, scared stiff that I would plummet to the ground and frantically keeping a good lookout for spiders, I definitely have!

A minor setback to all this auditing is that most companies do not have English as their corporate language in the factories or subsidiaries. The previous company we audited had all their flowcharts and daily business documents in Chinese, but luckily most of it was translated into English. So that was ok. But this company… help!
On the first day I was standing in the office, trying to make head or tail of a document when someone approached me and started babbling along in Malay. After establishing that I did not speak the language, he started waffling on in really bad English about 19 shoes. Ah, I thought, not really understanding him, my boss must have requested some documentation on those particular goods. After a few minutes of us trying to understand each other, (and failing miserably) a rescuer appeared and it turned out that this person was a customer who was here to pick up some previously ordered shoes!
The setbacks of not understanding the language…

As from yesterday, my brother and boyfriend arrived in KL, they’re here to do some travelling and eating, as the latter seems to be their preferred choice! Well, Malaysia is known for its fabulous food, so I guess it’s a reasonable goal to pursue.

Pulau Perhentian

What a relaxing weekend I´ve just had! On Thursday K & I spontaneously decided we needed sun, surf and relaxation so Friday evening saw us boarding an Airasia flight to Kota Bharu; we were off to one of Malaysia´s most beautiful islands Pulau Perhentian!
Kota Bharu´s claim to fame is a bustling night market – pasar malam - which unfortunately was not as spectacular as usual because the place where it’s usually held is under construction at the moment.
Whilst wandering from one hostel to the next looking for a place to stay without any unwelcome guests (bedbugs / fleas or similar) we met 2 German girls. Now 3 blond girls can attract quite a lot of attention, too bad it was negative this time. A group of pathetic guys desperately sought our attention and even resorted to throwing plastic bottles filled with cigarette butts at us! One actually followed us into the hotel, but got scared away after I complained bitterly to a very understanding receptionist (you could almost see a speech bubble appearing above his head with “just let this crazy woman speak, she’ll get over it soon, just keep smiling, I wonder what’s on TV later”).
The next day we took a taxi down to the pier and one of the little speedboats out to the Perhentian Islands. Zooming out on a very narrow, extremely shallow boat for one hour, jumping over waves with the wind making your hair stream out behind you is pretty exhilarating! We were racing along until suddenly, a huge bump jerked us forward, and the boat stopped! We’d swept over some kind of chain or rope which was attached to a nearby ship. But everything seemed to be ok, so they started the motor up again and off we went. Just as I was thinking “this is life” I felt the boat slowing, til it stopped, quite near to the little island. Hmm, everyone went, and looked back to see 2 Malay guys frantically tugging at the motor string, then when that didn’t work, they packed out their tools and proceeded to fix the motor. The trip which was supposed to last 30 minutes was prolonged by one hour (!).
Anyway, we finally arrived and spent a very relaxing 2 days pigging out with a backdrop of the deepest jungle and the clearest, bluest water imaginable. What a change from KL!

Hungry Ghosts and Audits

I have now discovered the pleasures of auditing, a field where one’s sadistic streak can come to the fore and cause pain and suffering to the poor auditee as one stands over them checking their work / business practices with an eagle eye!
We were on an island for the entire week, checking out a company which manufactured jeans – right up my street! The brand is moderately well known and I found it extremely intriguing to observe how my favorite trousers are made, from the ordering of raw material in huge quantities to the cutting, sewing, washing and ironing. I’ll say one thing about auditing: it sure gives you a good overview of all sorts of jobs available.
The audit itself consists primarily of following a checklist, asking questions and trying to establish where one could improve business practices.
In the evening we (my boss and I) generally went out for an Indian meal. In my enthusiasm to be as culturally aware as possible I tried eating with only my right hand and nearly broke my wrist trying to tear chicken off its bone! At least I managed not to spray food and fragments all over my boss, a nice impression that would have made!
On the last day of the audit, the whole company celebrated the Hungry Ghost season. Comprised mainly of a Chinese workforce (People are quite race-conscious here, the Chinese are perceived as industrious, the Malays as lazy and the Indians as sly; In a job interview the employer would most likely employ a candidate of the same race as himself – no joke!) almost the entire staff turned up laden with as much food (=offerings) they could carry. I’ve never seen such a spread of Chinese delicacies. They then proceeded to stick incense sticks into the offerings and lit them under prayers. Someone pushed some incense into my hands and told me to go round the table, holding up the burning sticks, jerking them at intervals and ask for good health for myself, my family and also for a good husband! Quite funny that was, they tried to sell me on the perks of a Chinese husband. When the incense burnt down, they lit a fire in a metal cauldron and proceeded to throw in paper symbolizing money, passports, clothing and gold. Judging by the amount of paper we burnt, the ghosts are complete shopaholics, they must have been influenced by the worldly pleasures of Merdeka Sale (whole of Malaysia has a sale on for the entire month of August every year).
All that done (yes, we did actually manage to get some work done that day!) the women practically charged up to the table where the food was spread out and took all the incense sticks out, dusted the stuff off and shot away with their treasures. We then ate all the offerings for lunch, as the ghosts had thoughtfully left the physical chow for us, having only eaten the spirit of the food. The fare was all homemade, absolutely scrumptious! These Chinese women can really cook! Hope my brother ends up with a Chinese woman one day; the men are apparently terrible in the kitchen…

Yesterday was Merdeka Day – Independence Day in Malaysia. We went to the Petronas Towers to witness the event, and got caught up in the surging crowd. It was quite awful actually, there were so many sexually deprived imbeciles out that night we went home left that place quite quickly! Moving along to Bukit Bintang (the main shopping street) we encountered people spraying colourful streamers around, out of aerosol cans. That was far more fun, seeing them really go wild!

Before I left for the Audit, K & I relaxed in KL’s largest park, the lake gardens. They had a huge aviary, with hundreds of bird species. I’ve never seen so many funny looking birds on such close quarters before!

Today our coworker just suggested that we need fattening up, as Malaysia is famous for its fantastic food and our parents would feel that we’d been well cared for! Funny their mentality! And contrary to expectations it was not a Chinese women who suggested it, but an Indian (!). (Most Chinese women I’ve encountered tend to ply one with food, one woman at the office practically shoved stuff down my neck - I nearly had to be rude to get her to stop.)

Virus

A dark and mean virus seems to be spreading around KL. My boss, her boss and my two colleagues (one of which is my flat mate), have come down with high fever, chills and sore throat / cough. What a depressing environment to work in! Luckily we had one 2 day conference here in KL where most of the participants were quite jolly and an internal audit is looming on the horizon (help!). Today we went to visit 2 clients for whom we will do the audit in the coming month. The one good thing about poking one’s nose into other people’s business professionally is that I can get a good overview of various jobs. Today for example, we visited a shoe manufacturer, and it was very interesting to see how shoes are made. We went for lunch with another client, all Chinese women who were very friendly, despite the fact that they plied me with food incessantly (I even ate duck as not to offend them, a bird I normally won’t touch, but I drew the line at chicken foot soup!). The food was delicious; absolute first rate.

I had an issue earlier this week when my flat mate and I tried to wash our clothes. It’s been about 3 weeks now since I arrived and buying clothes isn’t always the answer. Especially as it seems to be impossible to buy a normal bra here, each and every one is filled with some kind of silicone pad, water cushion or just plain padding to give the illusion of a larger bust!
So we went to a local laundry and the guy there tried to rip us off! One Ringitt for one bra two ringitt for one tshirt etc!

Rest and Relaxation

Having finished work late yesterday, my flatmate and I decided to walk down the Jalan Bukit Bintang (the main shopping street) in order to buy some water and get a little exercise. Off we went, our eyes drinking in colours and vibrant settings, people streaming in and out of the mall (it was nine pm!) and traffic zooming up and down the road. We were quite shattered so battling our way down the sidewalk wasn't really a relaxing thing to do. Suddenly we were accosted by someone touting for customers for a foot reflexology massage. 25 Malaysian Ringitt (about 9CHF) for a whole half hour may seem like a lot to some, but for me this was too good to pass up! Ah, the utter bliss (well, not quite, some of his efforts were downright painful! but absolutly worth it) that followed is highly recommendable. We left feeling refreshed and energized.
Now we've decided to go the whole hog and look for a spa to be pampered to the nines! It's kinda tricky though to know if the spa you're interested in is what you had in mind or if the ladies in there cater for a more, let's say, intense experience. Karaoke venues are just as bad, hairdressers are pretty straightforward, luckily. I was planning to get a haircut.

Toilets

Just came back from Johor Bharu yesterday. Was on a business trip, the usual, a conference. Forced to dress up nicely (Mum, that suit we bought is a real asset) and with a beaming smile in place I registered the participants. All went well until I needed the bathroom. Well, the details of my toilet are not going to be the subject of this post, however when it came to flushing the innocent looking monster I found that appearances can be very deceptive!
When you looked at the toilet there was this thing you could turn (no sign of the obvious flushing device), so I enthusiastically did so. To my absolute horror, a strong spurt of water came rushing out of the toilet, aimed straight at my chest! (Not a little trickle or anything like that, this was a full blown attack! As if you were squeezing the garden hose to increase the pressure of the water flow!) Luckily a split second reaction of mine saved me from being drenched from head to toe - how I would have explained my drowned-rat-appearance to all these high powered people I would not have known! I shudder at the thought!

On a happier note: Malaysia is swamped at the moment with a Mega Sale, the whole country has gone shopping mad for the ENTIRE AUGUST!!! Ah, absolute bliss, the malls stay open til 10 every night…